My Weird Mind

I have a superpower, the ability to twist good news and lucky breaks into mangled, corrupted, awful pieces of horror.

No matter what success I had – star on a TV show, get a huge residual check, get that skeeball right in the middle of the target… I never felt good.  I never felt quite right.   My mind made it all quite awful. ...

Me:     Hey, they picked up Austin Stories!  13 episodes! Mind:  It’s just cable. ...

Me:     Yeah, but it is the biggest network in the world. Mind:  Yeah.  And full of super hot chicks, of which you are not one. Good luck, they’ll hate you. ...

It was a battle I couldn’t win. 

I call it my How to Hate Yourself voice. Because when I listen to it, that’s pretty much what happens.

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